ITT: Texts From Last Night

[SJ]

All Credit to Deb for showing us this site

http://textsfromlastnight.com


post up your best findings..(you can also search for your own local area code to see what people around you are textin...)

[SJ]

(678): And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim

[SJ]

(717): dude, she has braces
(240): i meant the dude w the ponytail.
(717): i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.

[SJ]

(618): its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches

[SJ]

(603): i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
(508): yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night

[SJ]

(248): windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
(630): no, it is just poor

[SJ]

(416): dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
(647): well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun

[SJ]

(416): moral of the story ? theme parties + no morning after clothes= never again
. . . i just met his father in a bumblebee costume

[SJ]

(416): Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home

[SJ]

(914): ? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
(773): jesus mom

[kali]

(516): Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.

:jj:

[kali]

(301): My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.

Anonymous said...

...Cheech and Chong. They ended up smoking the dogshit.

[DFender]

LMAO - I luff that site

[DFender]

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaha

(216): he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
(513): so is it as big as he says?
(216): he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit

[Mugsy]

(740): worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.

[Mugsy]

(616): i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.

[Mugsy]

(917): I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
(740): enter at your own risk

[Mugsy]

(614): So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
(1-614): ...yea
(614): She's valid.

[Mugsy]

(614): Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?

[Mugsy]

(405): I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
(614): handstands? WTF?
(405): she was a gymnast
(614): go to hell.





(614): ...is it true? will i see you next weekend
(248): YES.
(614): ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us




(614): shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way






THANK YOU D for the link, and the luls.:D

[Ski Lo]

(616): i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.

HAHAH

Holy shit!:jj:

[DFender]

Ya welcome, Mugs... lolol... I'm sure I'll get over the lulz eventually but for right now, the fuckin' site killz me. LMAO @ "negative 2 inches" hahahahahahahaha.

[DFender]

(440): i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
(330): well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
-----------------
(330): i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
-----------------
(440): Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
-----------------

Ohio people are fucked up lololol

[DFender]

(248): thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.

[SJ]

(210): I just want to hang out with her.
(916): You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.

[SJ]

(847): I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
(1-847): How was it?
(847): Fantastic, but that's not the point.

[SJ]

(618): do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?




*I do and it was bloody fucking murder.... like hours for one pic...

[SJ]

(303): erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on

[SJ]

(484): I just spent $27 on things to pee on.

[SJ]

(631): meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
(516): wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
(631): aww shit wrong text.

[SJ]

(401): just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
(1-401): tie

[SJ]

(970): Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....

[SJ]

(312): You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?

[SJ]

(760): Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.